Building Bridges: The Foundation of Nanny-Parent Trust

Jul 15, 2025 | GTM Blog, Household Employee Management

nanny-parent-trust

A strong nanny-parent relationship is built on trust. Without it, the arrangement can’t function effectively. You need to feel completely at ease leaving your children with their caregiver, confident in their intentions and abilities.

This foundation of trust benefits everyone involved: you, your nanny, and most importantly, your children. You gain peace of mind knowing your children are with someone you trust. Your nanny feels more confident in their work, knowing they have your support. And your children will be safer with a caregiver who is truly invested in their role.

Building Trust Takes Time and Effort

Establishing a trusting environment isn’t instant. It takes time, often weeks or even longer, to develop.

Here are seven key ways to cultivate that trust with your nanny:

1. Be Transparent

Broken promises are trust killers. While occasional slip-ups are understandable, families whose words and actions frequently don’t align will struggle to earn their nanny’s trust. To avoid this, be transparent. Keep your nanny informed about any relevant developments and avoid over-promising.

2. Communicate Clearly

Vague communication can make it hard for your nanny to understand your message and intentions. Speak directly and use clear, simple language when discussing expectations. Nannies know they aren’t perfect and are generally eager to learn and improve.

If your nanny has questions, address them promptly and with as much detail as possible. When left to speculate, your employee might form conclusions that, if incorrect, could lead them to view you as untrustworthy. Straight talk can prevent this common pitfall.

Don’t forget the power of positive feedback! Childcare is demanding, and a simple “nice work today” or “you’re doing fantastic, thank you” can significantly boost a nanny’s morale.

3. Acknowledge Your Shortcomings

No one is perfect, and your nanny doesn’t expect you to be infallible. However, they do expect you to acknowledge your mistakes. If you find yourself consistently breaking promises or contradicting yourself, be self-aware enough to recognize these patterns and take steps to address and improve them. Just as you expect your nanny to learn from errors and grow professionally, you should do the same as a household employer.

4. Stay Consistent

Consistency is a powerful trust-builder. This means setting clear expectations and carefully considering your reactions to situations. Inconsistent responses to similar incidents can erode trust. Conversely, when you demonstrate consistency, your nanny will likely feel more comfortable communicating with you, as they can better anticipate your reactions.

5. Define Your Values

Clearly defined values go hand in hand with consistency. Your nanny should understand your family’s stance on important matters, especially your core values. As parents often serve as role models, expressing your values can help your nanny align with them, benefiting the entire team.

6. Give Trust to Get Trust

Trust is a two-way street. When you hire an in-home caregiver, you’re relinquishing some control, which can be challenging. However, it’s essential to be accommodating and remember that you’ve hired a professional, qualified caregiver. Give them the flexibility and freedom to do their job. In turn, your nanny will likely reciprocate that trust. Of course, trust must always be earned, so don’t trust blindly. Instead, take your employee at their word and give them the benefit of the doubt until there’s a compelling reason not to.

7. Stand Up for Your Nanny

One of the most impactful ways to build trust is by supporting your nanny when they need it. The difference between a parent who backs their nanny and one who throws them under the bus is immense.

When a parent “goes to bat” and stands up for their nanny, trust is immediately forged. This could occur in situations such as friction with another parent or nanny at the playground, or disagreements with grandparents or other family members. When a parent undermines their nanny, they will almost certainly fail to earn their trust.

You understand what makes a nanny trustworthy, transparency and consistency being paramount. It logically follows that parents should demonstrate these same qualities to earn and maintain their nanny’s trust.

Legal Pay Earns Trust

A significant way to show your nanny respect and treat them like a professional is to pay them legally. Using a payroll service ensures they’re paid on time, every payday. This means less work for you and greater peace of mind for your nanny.

Want to learn more about how it all works? Contact us at (800) 929-9213 or book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation. with a household employment expert. We can discuss your responsibilities, explain why legal pay is always the right choice, and answer any questions you have about employing someone in your home.